"Boulder" goes "Platinum"

So basically I'm from Brooklyn, New York, and basically I know how the world works a lot and I know that New York is per-person the greenest city in America and I know where the best cold cuts in Chelsea are and I know that Meet the Johnsons has $2 PBR's and that is the coolest beer ever.

And I saw the shoe commercials that Will posted and I bought some pastel-colored Reebok high-tops and I've been long boarding (street surfing) ever since. And Kanye WAS the voice of our generation until he just SOLD OUT recently, but whatever.

And my friend Molly sent me this video which is way too long:



And since I've traveled extensively all over, including Latin America and West Africa, and because I've lived on an organic farm/music and performing arts camp in Colorado, I have this to say:

Whoa, whoa, whoa Everybody...

Slow down with this excitement, didn't anyone ever tell you NOT to believe what you see on TV?

This video is obviously a fake, I mean, there is NO possible way that there is a city so clean and colorful as this "Boulder" place looks... Ryan Van Duzer makes videos, and he could tell you that this one was made in a Hollywood theater. I mean, the obvious giveaway is that all the actors and extras that they hired were white... and all those little smiling white kids with Colgate-commercial dentition.... obviously a lack of Equal Opportunity hiring at THAT Hollywood studio...

And all those people talking with eyebrow-raising passion about "Boulder"...obviously actors... no one could possibly be so excited and articulate about biking and bike paths! Pssh! And that "Cris Jones" character at 2min 30sec... what an overactor!!

Not to mention those huge impossibly vertical rock backdrops... SOMEBODY didn't pay attention in Physics 1001!

Peace and love "Boulder"ites... or "Martians"...